There are days that I feel I have a charmed existence. There are days that I wake up feeling so incredibly blessed that I get to keep work interesting and new jobs, constantly changing the pace and getting to experience new things with cooky, cool people.
There are 2 days when I don't feel that way. The 1st of the month and 15th of the month when my bills are due. These are the two days of the month that I have mini-melt downs and really feel the stress and weight of my decision to be a Lady of Leisure. I wonder if I've worked enough, if I've worked on the right projects, if my budget matches my actuals, if I'll have to eat tuna for the next week. These days I become slightly unbearable and incredibly annoying to be around. Talk about Debbie effin Downer. I mean, I cry at the homeless dog commercial thinking that it'll be me next and that at least those dogs have someone sponsoring them. It spirals pretty quickly into wine which then spirals to drunk dials to my ex's which leads to not awesome conversations the next morning over toast, because I don't want to waste my food on them.
But this month, I'm trying to look at things a little differently. My friend Alicia was so kind to point out to me that the truth is, I do always find a gig. I do always work hard and and find something that makes sense. That really is the key to the freelance lifestyle. If you're always working and really truly trying something will happen because you're not standing still. One opportunity begets another opportunity.
Being a Lady of Leisure is hard work. Not only do you constantly need to be on the look out for the right opportunity, but you also need to evaluate it and ask yourself if that job is really making your grow, helping you on the right path and ultimately making you happy. No longer can you just take a gig because its gonna make you money. Trust me, I've had to turn down some things that my parents would be appalled I did, but ultimately, I knew that it wouldn't make me happy. And that's the thing we all want right? Just to be happy at least 80% of the time?
But you need a sounding board, someone that you get to vent to that one or two days a year. Let yourself be frustrated and vulnerable and pissed off sometimes when its not going your way, because that's the only way that you're gonna prevent everything from exploding. Living life on your own term and discovering what the hell that even means, take a ton of self discovery and lot of introspective time; not to mention not everyone is always gonna agree with your latest adventure. (What, not everyone thinks starting a bakery is a great idea?) Not everyone is gonna be supportive or your crazy dreams and endeavors, but find the few that are, because you need them.
There are so many amazing ladies out there who are really taking life by cojones do things on their own terms, not letting anyone (man, job, kids, parents) dictate how they are living it. I love these ladies and this week I'm gonna take some time to tell you a little bit about some of my faces. Stay tuned. Keep rockin' the LOL.