Leggo my Eggo

It's true. Women now a days spend most of our 20's trying not to get pregnant, our 30's asking ourselves if we want to and our 40's thinking we've missed the opportunity.

Being a Lady of Leisure, I have spent a lot of time lately pondering my options for new opportunities in work, love, life and general life experience, so I began toying with the idea of Egg Donation. (I can feel my mother screaming at me all the way from Africa). Why not, I told myself! Egg Donation is a great gift to a couple who cannot have a child and an easy way to make $10,000.

Before you run over to call your nearest Egg Donation center to make that down payment on your house, let me tell you a little bit about what I've learned from Egg Donation. First of all, you will not all qualify. You must be between the ages of 21-29 in most cases. You are most desired if you've ever been pregnant or have children and you must have a clean family medical history. Meaning if your aunt Susie had Lukemia or your grandmother died of cancer, you are not as desirable as someone who doesn't have that kind of history.

It makes sense though right? You are donating DNA and are being evaluated strictly on the merits of that DNA and the probability that you will deliver a healthy baby. That all makes sense to me until I remember that men donating sperm are not subject to the same scrutiny and trust me the retrieval process for their DNA is much more fun than ours. We don't get a fun magazine and video to get randy with. No, we have to endure weeks of doctors appointments and hormone shots. You think you're a royal B*tch when you have your period, just wait until you get daily...that's right...DAILY hormone shots to get your eggs ready for retrieval. Yes, you will need to EARN that $10,000. I know, I know, men don't get paid that much for their DNA donations, but lets be honest, they get paid a hundred bucks a pop to do something they already do on a regular basis anyway. $100 bucks for a fun minute? I'll take it.

And why aren't men as scrutinized as women? I knew a guy in college who donated sperm that I wouldn't let make me breakfast, let alone fertilize my eggs. Yet, somehow, he was a sperm donor. That's 50% of the DNA people! But I digress...

Determined to do this despite the physical risks, I went to a consult. I met with a counselor. I underwent a thorough psychological evaluation, which let me tell you, is not "tell me about your mom" easy. I answered a hundred multiple choice questions as well that were incredibly enlightening to myself. I wasn't ready to do something like this. I have enough abandonment issues as is and with the recent changes in my life was not in the right place to do it. I can hardly commit to the gym, let alone daily hormone shots and weekly doctor visits. A lot of women can, but I was just not in that mental space. I thanked my counselor and excused myself.


At first, I felt kind of weak and silly. I do not want to have a baby, especially not as a single woman, so its not about donating an egg and wondering if I'd ever see it again. I don't have any particular attachment to my eggs. I think, for me, at that time, it was just too much grey in my head. Perhaps if I had done it four years ago, it would have been fine, but at this age, for ME, it just wasn't the right choice. (I hear my mother sigh in relief all the way from Mozambique).

I will say though, the process has made me very grateful for our options, for our doctors, for all of the ways we can make choices these days. It's important, to have choices. It empowers you to make the right decisions. Go Egg Donors-  you ladies are warriors. I'm impressed.